Dumbest Cop I Ever Knew

I traveled to Savannah, Georgia recently to visit some friends. It’s a truly beautiful city, and I had a great time, but the politics down there is Flannery O’Connor meets Franz Kafka these days.  Governor Deal, a name straight out of Dickens, signed the nation’s most permissive (or aggressive) gun law recently. Peach state residents can now pack heat when they go to bars or churches. Apparently, Georgia legislators think it’s a good idea to escalate barroom brawls to saloon shootouts.

While the gun law is interesting, another legislative marvel caught my eye down there. A driver who impedes another vehicle by moving too slowly is now breaking the law. This is where it gets weird.

I grew up in the small town of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania population at the time about 18,000 and plummeting. One day in the early 80s a cow got loose from a local farm and wandered into town. A town cop, Officer Kaiser, was dispatched to corral the wayward bovine. He located the cow, unholstered his weapon, and called out “Stop or I’ll shoot.” Not surprisingly, the cow did not heed the warning and Officer Kaiser blew away the cow in a stunning piece of police work.

A few weeks later, Officer Kaiser stopped in for a coffee break at a restaurant I frequented. As the caffeine kicked in, he pontificated. “If a car is going the speed limit, it is denying me my right to drive the speed I want to drive.” The irony of a policeman arguing he had a right to break the law was lost on “the dumbest cop I ever knew.” Little did I imagine that thirty years later enough people to constitute a legislative majority would think such a concept would make a good law.